Love doesn’t just happen…it’s not a feeling…it’s a choice, a commitment, something intentional. At least that’s what keeps getting drummed into me by our Pastor. God loves us—not because He feels like it, but because we’re His children and he chooses to love us. Even the most unlovable human is the object of God’s love.
So we’re supposed to love one another.
I have no problem loving the people I like. It’s loving the people who I can’t stand that is the struggle. But God doesn’t give out different amounts or qualities of love to different people, so I guess I’m not supposed to do that either.
I can love my wife, my kids, my friends. I have a really hard time loving some of the other people in my church, though. There are people with lousy attitudes, who never have anything positive to say, who look for the worst in everyone, who nitpick and nag and complain and whine and think they’re God’s gift to the choir, or they are the director of their reserved pew…. How do I love those people?
It must be because I choose to, like Pastor says. I guess I have to decide that I’m going to love them, to treat them as if I love them, even if I don’t feel like it.
But isn’t it hypocritical to act like you love someone—to be “nice” to them, to treat them gently and as though you care—when you don’t actually care? But to treat someone the way you feel about them…that’s not Biblical, and it might even be sinful depending on the feelings. So maybe it’s not hypocritical. I’ve been told that if you’re not happy but you want to be, then act happy—smile, laugh, etc. The feeling will eventually follow. Just the act of making your body go through the motions actually changes your mood. Maybe it works that way with love, too: go through the motions, not to put up a facade and hide your true feelings, but because you actually want to choose to love the person, and maybe the feelings of love will eventually follow. I suppose this is an experiment I should try. I’ll let you know how it goes.
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