At the Center of It All

As often happens during family holiday gatherings, we started reminiscing yesterday about Christmases past. One story that made us all smile was about my wife’s grandmother. One year, when we asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she simply said, “Just give me all your love. I don’t need anything else.” So each one of us gave her a box that had a piece of paper that simply said LOVE. When she opened the first one, she saw the paper and asked what it meant.

“It’s your gift, Grandmom. You said you just wanted our love. So that’s what we gave you.” She smiled and was obviously very touched. Then she looked under the tissue paper and said, “No, really, where’s my gift?”

As I was watching my children and my nephews opening their gifts yesterday, I realized that are layers to my own understanding of Christmas, and it’s reflected in the progression of my attitude towards gift-giving. Each time I looked under the tissue paper, I found another meaning to Christmas.

When I was a child, it was all about the getting. All that mattered to me was whether I got cool stuff and how much I was accumulating. I’d rip open one package, and had hardly even seen what was inside before I moved on to the next box. I was so engrossed in my own pile of loot that I hardly even noticed what everyone else was opening. And sometimes, I’d look under the tissue paper and wonder, “No, really, where’s my gift?”

As I got older, though, things shifted. As much as I still enjoyed (and enjoy) receiving gifts, it was more about the giving than the receiving. I got so much joy from seeing the pleasure that other people received when I had given a particularly appropriate gift.

Yesterday, I lifted yet another layer of tissue paper and discovered that it’s about the receiving again. But what matters to me now isn’t the gift, it’s my response to it. I have had many different responses to gifts over the years, some verbalized, some kept to myself:

“OK! What’s in the next one?”
“Is that all?”
“It’s just what I wanted!”
“It’s not exactly what I wanted…”
“Maybe I can exchange it.”
“Well, it’s the thought that counts.”

And for most of my life, my response has revolved around what I wanted or thought I needed.

But a gift is more about the giver than the receiver. The giver chose the gift believing it was a good match for me. The greatest expression of love I can give back is to accept it, open it, and use it. It may not be exactly what I thought I wanted, but if I allow myself to appreciate it—and I mean honestly appreciate it, not just obligatory lip service—the value of the gift is fully realized.

This thought process naturally brought me around to the original Christmas gift: God’s grace and forgiveness. He gave me His son’s life in exchange for mine. So many times the meaning of this gift has been lost on me. “Is that all? It’s not exactly what I wanted. Maybe I can exchange it…. Well, it’s the thought that counts.” And I truly felt that the thought was what counted, and all I needed to do was acknowledge the thought. “OK, God, I really appreciate you thinking of me. Thanks!”

But it’s not.  The gift counts, and the giver counts. What good is it to get a gift card if I never spend it, regardless of how much I “appreciate” the thought? God wants me to do more than take his gift and appreciate it. He wants me to do something with it.

So for me, this Christmas will be about responding more deeply to God’s gift than I ever have. Not just appreciating the gift, not just appreciating the thought, but loving the giver and giving my whole life back to him. Because God’s real gift to me is that if I give him my life, he’ll also take responsibility for making it a worthwhile one.

At one point I was contemplating titling this post The True Meaning of Christmas, but quickly realized that besides being a cliché, I’m not nearly old enough yet to have figured it all out. I’m certain that when I look under the next layer of tissue paper, there will be yet another meaning to the gift. I’m looking forward to discovering it.