April 7, 2006
So it’s been almost a week, and I’m desperately searching for God in the middle of this situation. I am so incredibly frustrated…with myself first, with my church, with the people around me who seem so oblivious. In the space of only a few days, nearly everything about the music ministry has been turned upside down. The service, the lighting, the choir—all of it is suddenly different, just because the music pastor has left.
I’m aggravated and angry and frustrated and disappointed all at the same time. But I still don’t feel anything.
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April 3, 2006
The tears were flowing this weekend at church. Our music pastor, who also happens to be one of my best friends, is leaving to plant a new church in Plainfield, Illinois. Yesterday was his last day—he and his family are driving west as I’m writing this entry.
The service of course was all about celebrating his tenure there, about remembering all the great things he’s done for the church and for the congregation. The choir was joined by about forty former choir members, many of whom came in from out of town just to sing one last time for Pastor Jon. There was a video reminiscing about thirteen years of musical productions. And on and on. Our senior pastor, who also happens to be Jon’s dad, broke down into tears when he thanked Jon for thirteen and a half years of wonderful ministry, partnership, and growth. There was not a dry eye in the place.
Except for mine.
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February 28, 2006
Love doesn’t just happen…it’s not a feeling…it’s a choice, a commitment, something intentional. At least that’s what keeps getting drummed into me by our Pastor. God loves us—not because He feels like it, but because we’re His children and he chooses to love us. Even the most unlovable human is the object of God’s love.
So we’re supposed to love one another.
I have no problem loving the people I like. It’s loving the people who I can’t stand that is the struggle. But God doesn’t give out different amounts or qualities of love to different people, so I guess I’m not supposed to do that either.
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